What's Inside: We are wired for relationships - relationship with God, relationship with people, and relationship with ourselves. But how do we navigate our most important fundamental relationship? Is it even possible to build a relationship with an invisible God? In response to questions from my earlier posts “To Know Me is to Trust Me” and “When Trust Fails,” I wanted to explore ways in which we could actually get to know this relational God so that we can trust Him and protect that relationship come what may. And I did not have to look any further than the relationships we engage everyday.
We are wired for relationships - relationship with God, relationship with people, even relationship with ourselves. In Genesis 2:18 in the Bible, God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” In John 15:15 Jesus says to his disciples, “I no longer call you servants... Instead, I have called you friends….” In response to the question, which is the greatest commandment” Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:36-40). We all need relationships, and the first and most important is the one we have with our Creator. In my earlier post “To Know Me is to Trust Me” I explored our human need to know anyone before we can truly trust him including God. In my most recent past post “When Trust Fails” I concluded that we can get through our life challenges with our faith intact by maintaining our relationship with God. He is the only thing that is constant in this ever-changing unpredictable life. It is important that we remain in Him (John 15:4).
I am big on the “hows” of life, so I waned to explore ways that
I could actually get to know this invisible God and build my relationship with Him so that I can
trust Him and protect that relationship come what may. I did not need to look any
further than the ways in which we build our most valuable intimate relationships.
Think about it. If God is Friend (John 15:15), Father (Romans 8:18), Bridegroom
(Matthew 9:15), and I’ll even add Business Partner, we can look at the actions
we take to build those relationships (or the ideal version of them) and apply
the same principles to our spiritual relationship with God.
Keep the lines of
communication open
I think it is safe to say that most people know the basics
of a solid relationship. In John 15:15, Jesus told his disciples the He no
longer calls them servants but friends because He has made known to them
everything that God is doing. Jesus gives us a prime example of what it takes
to build a friendship with Him. Tell Him everything: your joys, your fears,
your anger and hurt – just talk to Him. So often we refer to Jesus as our “friend”,
but do we treat Him such? Do we share with Him the ins and outs of what we are
doing and even invite him to be a part of it. Is that not the number one thing that we do to
stay connected in our everyday relationships? Whether getting to know someone
for the first time or our BFF we talk to them and sometimes it’s non-stop. I remember when I was a teenager my father used to travel a lot for work. While he was away, my mom used
to walk around the house on the phone with him not saying anything – just being
on the phone with him. I used to roll my eyes at the cheesiness. Today my
husband and I will sometimes stay on the phone up until the moment he walks in
the door. We will have nothing to say but the desire to be connected. The writer of 1 Thessalonians 5:16 urges us to pray without ceasing. Praying consists of
speaking and listening, just being present and acknowledging His presence. If
you want to have a deeper and trusting relationship with God, keep the connection
lines of communication open.
Know Him for yourself
How many times have you formed an
opinion about someone based on what you heard about him or her through someone else?
Out of all of those cases, how may times did you to learn after getting to know
that person for yourself that your initial opinion of him/her was wrong? It is dangerous
to rest the fate of your salvation in the hands of someone else. We love our
pastors, our preachers, our spiritual leaders and motivational speakers,
family, friends and Oprah. But what they share with conviction is based on
their personal experience with God or otherwise. And as I pointed out in my
previous post “When Trust Fails,” God can work uniquely in each of our lives
even when it is to the same end.
It does make a difference when you
spend time with someone outside of a group setting. Why else do you think the
women on ABCs The Bachelor (#theBachelor) yearn for that one-on-one date? They know that their
chances at the Bachelor knowing who they are, them knowing more about who he
is, falling in love, getting a rose and ultimately getting the ring increase
during that coveted quality time. When you know someone for yourself, you get
to know who he or she is and not just about him. You know what she likes, doesn’t
like, his quirks and form your own opinions about them. God actually has a
personality. There are things that make Him angry, make Him smile, and make Him
laugh (I’ll give you one hint, it is not when you tell Him your plans). You
might actually be surprised to find how many of your own characteristics and personality
traits you “get from Him” and share in common with Him.
By not taking the time to get to
know God in your own life and on your own terms, your relationship with Him
will be just like your relationship with your favorite celebrities. Nonexistent. You
feel as though you know them because you have heard so much about them. You
might even go coo-coo for coco puffs
if you ever get the opportunity to meet them in person. But, I think my friend,
IT (not really my friend), has so eloquently laid out for us all the celerity’s
response to this strange familiarity, “You might see me in the streets but, Shawty, you don’t know me!” And it is the
truth. We see evidence of God all around us, we talk to Him and hear about Him,
so much so that we think that we know Him. We could even work for God and still
have only a limited working relationship with Him. That shouldn’t come as a
surprise. The majority of people who work for big companies do not know the
owner, president, CEO, etc. personally. Even those who may work at the corporate
location and in close proximity to the boss, may still have a relationship that
goes only as far as the job. Jesus gives a chilling illustration of this in
Matthew 7:21-23:
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord,
Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of
my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did
we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name
perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away
from me, you evildoers!’”
That’s deep. These are people who
are actually doing work in the kingdom but never taking the time to get to know
Jesus on personal level. Instead they remain acquaintances, keep the
power-distance high and opt for the employer-employee relationship. As a result
they may have to hear Jesus say, you
might have seen me in the church but shawty you don’t know me. Maybe they’ll just
have that song playing as the entrance to heaven (I am so just kidding). I
think it best to heed Jesus’ advice to Martha in Luke 10:42. Be like Mary and
choose to spend time with Jesus over doing work for Jesus. This is not to negate
doing inspired work for God but rather a reminder to keep the intimacy in the
relationship and the lines of communication open.
For the sake of reading ease, I am breaking this piece into many
small chunks. Take some time to chew on this piece; there is a lot more
relationship advice to come.
Please leave your
thoughts and comments below. What kind of relationship do you have with God?
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