Friday, February 26, 2016

FRIEND OF…GOD? REALLY?



What’s inside: We are continuing with advice on how to build and maintain our most important intimate relationship. Is it possible to have a relationship with an invisible God? Let’s find out how.


Protect the intimacy

One of the best pieces of relationship advice that I have heard came from a marriage councilor. He stated that 80% of the issues in a marriage will never go away, but it is up to the couple to always protect the intimacy in their relationship. In my mind, I picture the issue(s) as an object – a boulder perhaps. When those boulders appear in a marriage, both spouses could stand on opposite sides with the boulder between them and try to eliminate the problem individually (Possibly rolling over each other in the process). On the other hand, both could stand on the same side eliminating the bolder from the center of the relationship and tackle the issue together. I can apply that same concept to facing challenges in my relationship with God. Rather than attempting to face the issues on my own and then blaming God for the lack of success, I could choose to protect the intimacy in my relationship. How so? I can start by taking the blame off of Him. I can remove the issues and my disappointments out from between God and me and choose to stand hand in hand with God to face and tackle my challenges.

Know His intentions toward you

I would consider myself to be a sensitive person. Just about everyone who knows me intimately will confirm that. Because of my sensitivity, I have a difficult time taking criticism from just anybody even those who I call, “friend”. There is a little trigger that goes off inside of me that questions the intentions of the critic. My mind is sometimes plagued with sinister thoughts. What is this person trying to say? What does he mean by that? Is there some ulterior motive or secret underlying meaning to that comment? Is this person really for me or is she secretly hoping that I fail? Does he mean that or is he just appeasing me? Those thoughts and feelings cause me to be guarded. I spend more energy trying not to take offence than actually heading the potential advice. I will be more cautious about how much I choose to reveal to that person in the future. I can never be fully open, honest and vulnerable. I have to always leave a safe distance to protect my feelings and information.

I have one friend, however, who has yet to trigger those feelings. I never feel the need to question her motives. I don’t feel judged during or after our conversations or that there is even a hint of ill will towards me. When asked, who is for me, she is my answer every time. Because I know her intentions toward me and I do not doubt her love for me, I can bare my soul to her; I can be vulnerable. She knows more about me than anyone because I feel safe when I speak to her. If she says anything to me that could be taken in a good way or bad, I know that her meaning behind the statement was the good option. I feel safe with her because I know her intentions, her heart and her feelings towards me. So, even when she confronts me about something that may “sting” a little, I can handle it. If I happen to catch her on a bad day, I don’t take it personal because I know her and I understand her ways. I know that her intention is not to harm me. I can even disagree with her about things and not fear that our friendship is coming to an end. It’s Proverbs 27:6 in real life. It feels good to have a relationship like that.

God too is that fried. God will not intentionally harm us and He cannot unintentionally harm us. Even though we may have been hurt in the process, God doesn’t say, “Oops”. I believe that He might, out of His love and compassion for us say, “I’m sorry this had to happen to you” – much like I do my child – but I do not believe that God makes mistakes. I think many will agree with that. His plans are not to harm us (Jeremiah 29:11) therefore they do not. Even though things might happen in our lives that hurt, we are not harmed. We are okay. Our pain comes as a consequence of life happening all around us. Existence consists of so many moving parts perhaps pain is an unavoidable outcome. There are so many lives and decisions intertwining in this tangled web, somebody is bound to collide. Perhaps God’s way of making up for our unavoidable suffering is by orchestrating all things together for our good (Romans 8:28). Who knows? His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9). But, no matter what, we can trust His intentions toward us. He loves us passionately (John 3:16). He never leaves us; He never forsakes us (Deuteronomy 31:6). God is for us (Romans 8:31).

There is more relationship advice to come, so please subscribe and join us again. If missed the first segment to this post, check out “You might see Hm is the church but, Shawty, You Don’t Know God.” Leave your thoughts and comments below; I’d love to hear from you.

Remember, we are so…Spoiled By God
www.SpoiledByGod.com
  

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