What’s inside: We are continuing
with advice on how to build and maintain our most important intimate
relationship. Is it possible to have a relationship with an invisible God?
Let’s find out how.
Protect the intimacy
One of the best pieces of relationship advice that I have
heard came from a marriage councilor. He stated that 80% of the issues in a
marriage will never go away, but it is up to the couple to always protect the
intimacy in their relationship. In my mind, I picture the issue(s) as an object
– a boulder perhaps. When those boulders appear in a marriage, both spouses
could stand on opposite sides with the boulder between them and try to
eliminate the problem individually (Possibly rolling over each other in the
process). On the other hand, both could stand on the same side eliminating the
bolder from the center of the relationship and tackle the issue together. I can
apply that same concept to facing challenges in my relationship with God.
Rather than attempting to face the issues on my own and then blaming God for
the lack of success, I could choose to protect the intimacy in my relationship.
How so? I can start by taking the blame off of Him. I can remove the issues and
my disappointments out from between God and me and choose to stand hand in hand
with God to face and tackle my challenges.
Know His intentions
toward you
I would consider myself to be a sensitive person. Just about
everyone who knows me intimately will confirm that. Because of my sensitivity,
I have a difficult time taking criticism from just anybody even those who I
call, “friend”. There is a little trigger that goes off inside of me that
questions the intentions of the critic. My mind is sometimes plagued with
sinister thoughts. What is this person trying to say? What does he mean by
that? Is there some ulterior motive or secret underlying meaning to that
comment? Is this person really for me or is she secretly hoping that I fail?
Does he mean that or is he just appeasing me? Those thoughts and feelings cause
me to be guarded. I spend more energy trying not to take offence than actually
heading the potential advice. I will be more cautious about how much I choose
to reveal to that person in the future. I can never be fully open, honest and
vulnerable. I have to always leave a safe distance to protect my feelings and
information.
I have one friend, however, who has yet to trigger those
feelings. I never feel the need to question her motives. I don’t feel judged
during or after our conversations or that there is even a hint of ill will
towards me. When asked, who is for me, she is my answer every time. Because I
know her intentions toward me and I do not doubt her love for me, I can bare my
soul to her; I can be vulnerable. She knows more about me than anyone because I
feel safe when I speak to her. If she says anything to me that could be taken
in a good way or bad, I know that her meaning behind the statement was the good
option. I feel safe with her because I know her intentions, her heart and her
feelings towards me. So, even when she confronts me about something that may
“sting” a little, I can handle it. If I happen to catch her on a bad day, I
don’t take it personal because I know her and I understand her ways. I know
that her intention is not to harm me. I can even disagree with her about things
and not fear that our friendship is coming to an end. It’s Proverbs 27:6 in
real life. It feels good to have a relationship like that.
There is more relationship advice to come, so please
subscribe and join us again. If missed the first segment to this post, check
out “You might see Hm is the church but, Shawty, You Don’t Know God.” Leave your thoughts and comments below; I’d love to hear from you.
Remember, we are so…Spoiled By God
www.SpoiledByGod.com
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