Monday, June 6, 2016

LOVING THOSE YOU LOVE TO HATE (Love, Anyone? Part 3)



What’s Inside: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7). This is how we show love to everyone around us. We went into detail with the first two verses of this passage in parts one and two of this post series (click here if you missed it). This week we conclude our talk about love for our neighbor being the first indication that we have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Our neighbor is not just anyone around us but everyone around us including our enemies. It is easy to love this nice people. But, how do you show love for that boss who makes you feel less than, that coworker who constantly tries to undermine you, that parent who refuses to support your choices or that clerk with the nasty attitude? Let's explore 1 Corinthians 13:7.

DO NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL:  It resides in all of us - the draw to what is ratchet, juicy, even a little bit evil. It’s why sex sells. It is why the news circuits blast over and over the most tragic and negative stories, and the worst behaved contestant on reality shows get a spin-off. It’s why paparazzi pine for shots of celebrities at their worst.We are drawn to darkness; we enjoy the rise and fall of the hero.  Sin is our human nature, therefore bad news sells. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts (Prov. 18:8 & 26:22). But, our command from Jesus Christ to love one another challenges us to rise above that. Sin might be our human nature but as Christians we are new creations and charged with resisting what was once natural. We need not take part or pleasure in the demise of the people around us - not even our enemies: "Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles do not let your heart rejoice" (Proverbs 24:17). I hope you would instead choose to pray for others in love (even celebrities you don’t know). Do not delight in evil.

REJOICE WITH THE TRUTH: I will be one of the first to say that it can be hard to hear criticism about myself. I hate to be reminded that I am not perfect. But humbly accepting that gives room for growth and improvement. I love the illustration that an attorney friend of mine gave about her attitude in the courtroom. Her desire is not for winning but for getting to the truth. It’s not about who is right or wrong but what in right and just and true. This might sound idealistic but it bears truth outside the courtroom as well. The truth is sometimes we are wrong and need to be corrected. Our hearts should not be with taking sides but accepting the truth even if it hurts. Love gives room for justice and the truth gives way for mercy to be properly applied. "An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips" (Proverbs 24:26). Rejoice with the truth.
Always PROTECT:  One fascinating aspect about human behavior is what we love to do when we find out the truth. Once we learn it we feel it is our duty to expose it to everyone no matter who it hurts or destroys. God’s nature and the way of love is to cover and protect us. “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12). This does not mean that we are not properly dealt with when we are wrong, but I wonder if the entire world has to know about it. What good does it actually do for everybody else? When leaders fall, when we sin or mess up, there will be consequences – and there should be. But love corrects privately unless truly necessary. “Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends” (Proverbs 17:9). "Be not overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:21).  "Blessed are the peace makers for they will be called sons of God" (Matthew 5:9). “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). Always protect.

Always TRUST: Simply put, give others the befit of the doubt. I would still say exercise wisdom, but avoid being a cynic. If that coworker or ex-lover tells you he or she has changed, believe him and allow him to prove himself. People can’t get over on you if you give them permission. “But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you” (Matthew 5 39-42). “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:44-45). “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28). This is a lot. This is serious. I believe that it takes serious trust in God to live this out. Always trust.

Always HOPE: Hope only exists for what has not yet been realized. In love for others we hope for the best, to see dreams fulfilled, good realized and potential reached. We hope that that son or daughter will finally turn their life around or that parent will see the error in their ways. We hope that the relationship can be reconciled and that things will get better. "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things" (Philippians 4:8). Keep hope alive.

Always PERSEVERE: I pray that we never give up one another. This may be a lot to ask. We all make so many mistakes and leave a trail of broken and disappointed hearts in our wake. Knowing that we are capable of brining harm to others I hope that we would not give up on the many who will hurt us along the way. Maybe if we keep pursuing that relationship a little while longer, that student will make a life change be it great or small. If you continue to “kill” that co-worker with kindness, you might actually get her to smile. You never know. It is a heavy burden, but we are asked to carry it in love. So long as we have hope, we will be willing to persevere in love. “Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9) “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:24-25). Always persevere.

“Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, cloth yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all in perfect unity" (Colossians 3:12).

The type of Love that God calls us to is a kind of sacrificial love. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13 BSB). The world may view these actions as weakness. But, God has commanded those of us who are called by His name to love. And then, He plainly and distinctly gave us examples of how to do so. The Holy Spirit only wishes to live through us. To do otherwise would be unwise.

I hope that you were truly blessed by this piece. The conversation continues about the Fruit of the Spirit as the litmus test of our relationship with Christ. Please leave me your comments below. I’d love, love, love to hear from you.

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We are so…Spoiled By God.

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