One day I put my little person down to take her nap without
her pacifier. She was irate and screaming at the top of her lungs. After
franticly searching my house for her magical plastic comforter, I realized that
it was outside in the car. I paused for a moment. I have been contemplating
weaning her from the pacifier. I decided that now was as good a time as any.
Rather than going to the car to retrieve the binky, I decided to hold out. I
climbed into the playpen with my frantic screaming baby and attempted to comfort
her using all of me. It didn’t work. All that my baby wanted was her pacifier
and I would not get it for her. For nearly two hours she cried and fought me. In
the midst of this episode, my mind reflected on my personal relationship with God.
How many times have I felt as though God was withholding something from me that
I really wanted? I knew He had the ability to give it me, but he was making the
choice not to. How many times could He have been trying to give me Himself as
comfort but I cried and cried and told Him that He was not enough? How many of
those times could He (just as I was with my daughter) teaching me to get by and
self-sooth without something that I thought I had to have. Has God ever used
those times as opportunities to develop me and make me stronger as I was
attempting to do with my daughter?
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