Do The Work

I wish I could say I had the same faith during my financial trail as the woman in a story that my sister once told me.  The woman stepped out on faith in pursuit of her dream career. Like other testimonies I have heard, the result of her faith was not immediate reward. She instead fell on trying times. She was out of work for almost two years, but she kept believing and trusting God and now she is fulfilling her destiny, doing well financially and her trial brought her closer to the Lord.

I went through a financial trial where I was out of work for nearly one year. I expected God to use my many gifts and talents to make room for me (Proverbs 18:16). But that didn’t happen. (You are welcome to read the full story here). I have been trough a number of trials in my lifetime. And, although I face each with the same God, my response to each challenge and the way that I handle it is not the same, unfortunately. In this trial I was frustrated and felt betrayed. I was like the Psalmist in Psalm 73, “When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.” (Verses 21 & 22)

The True Test of My Faith – The Starting Point

Photo By: Khayla Williams

My sister told me the testimony of a woman who stepped out on faith in pursuit of her dream career. Like others testimonies I have heard, the result of the woman’s faith was not immediate reward. She instead fell on trying times. She was out of work for almost two years, but she kept believing and trusting God and now she is fulfilling her destiny and doing well financially.

Where Did it all Go Wrong…And Now What?

Photo By: Khayla Williams; Model: Taylor Jones

 
I made the decision to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior when I was in middle school. I loved Jesus, going to church, reading my bible and giving. When I got to college in 2001, I started attending a mega church. I thought it was the best thing that could ever happen to me. This church was very different from the church I grew up in. The pastor challenged my thinking and view of life and God and success. After three years of consistently being under the influence of this pastor’s teachings, my faith was derailed by messages of hope. Yes, hope. Let me explain.

The Promise is in the Presence

I got a good message out of church today that I though I might share. I cannot remember every point made by the preacher, but I did get the lesson that was intended for me.

Process

Photo By Khayla Williams

It is impossible to get my toddler to cooperate with me even when I am trying to give her what she wants. All she can see is the goal that she is after. She has no perception of, respect or concern for the process. Today, her goal was to go outside. She cried and fought me with all her strength to get through that front door. No matter how I tried to get through to her, she could not comprehend that I was giving her permission to do what she wanted. However, there are some things that must be done in preparation for her to go anywhere. 

The Perfect Person

(Photo By Khayla Williams)

I had this thought a long time ago. I figure I would share it with you because I still feel the same way. I think that our imperfections are what, in essence, make us “perfect” people. Why would I say that? Let’s think about it. There is not one person, besides Jesus Christ, who does not have any imperfections. Actually…let me take that back. It was prophesied that Jesus “had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him” ^a. So although he was a without sin, he actually was not “perfect” in the sense that we would use the word. He had physical flaws. When we encounter a person (celebrity or otherwise) who appears not to have flaws, we are taken aback. We wonder aloud or deep down inside what is really wrong with that person. “He/she cannot be perfect,” we say. Some would even go to great lengths to find that “Achilles Heal”. If there were a perfect flawless person, there would be something wrong that. So to have flaws, to make mistakes, to mess up sometimes, makes you normal. And that… makes you perfect. 

The Mighty Pacifier

One day I put my little person down to take her nap without her pacifier. She was irate and screaming at the top of her lungs. After franticly searching my house for her magical plastic comforter, I realized that it was outside in the car. I paused for a moment. I have been contemplating weaning her from the pacifier. I decided that now was as good a time as any. Rather than going to the car to retrieve the binky, I decided to hold out. I climbed into the playpen with my frantic screaming baby and attempted to comfort her using all of me. It didn’t work. All that my baby wanted was her pacifier and I would not get it for her. For nearly two hours she cried and fought me. In the midst of this episode, my mind reflected on my personal relationship with God. How many times have I felt as though God was withholding something from me that I really wanted? I knew He had the ability to give it me, but he was making the choice not to. How many times could He have been trying to give me Himself as comfort but I cried and cried and told Him that He was not enough? How many of those times could He (just as I was with my daughter) teaching me to get by and self-sooth without something that I thought I had to have. Has God ever used those times as opportunities to develop me and make me stronger as I was attempting to do with my daughter?

Somethings My Baby Does Not Realize…

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Something my baby does not realize…

When I say “No, it’s hot”. It really is HOT.

HOT means it will hurt if she chooses to touch it anyway (She learned that one the hard way).

I say, “no” to protect her.

I put her to bed because sleep is critical for her growth and well-being.

She really is not missing out on anything when she goes to sleep.

Something my baby does not realize…

She would have seriously injured herself had I not been holding her so tight during her last temper tantrum.

She can truly ruin her life if she does not listen to me and obey.

Oh the Things My Baby Doesn’t Realize - Intro

I have learned quite a bit since the birth of my little person almost two years ago. Having a child has tested my will and drive and developed my endurance and patience. As I learn and grow along with my daughter, there are times when I imagine that my interactions with her reflect God interaction with me. It is as if God uses my relationship with my baby and the experience of raising her to put into perspective how He operates in my life at times. This section, Oh the Things My Baby Doesn’t Realize, documents those valuable life observations.

Wasting Time

I realized something today. It is so easy to miss the Spoiled By God moments (and lessons) in our daily lives when we are in a mad rush to check every box on our almighty agenda. The opportunity to seize a Spoiled By God moment narrowly escaped me. I had a moderately packed schedule this week. Not uncommon.  I had meetings scheduled each day with more new meetings and rescheduled meetings being added as my week drew to a close. Wednesday morning started out with a team meeting. I reviewed my “Do” list to see where I could squeeze in additional quick-flex meetings in between those preset on my agenda. I manipulated my schedule as best I could to accommodate each person I had to go out to see. One person never showed for the impromptu meeting for which I had to bend my schedule. Then, as I dialed in fifteen minutes late to my teleconference, I learned that the call actually started an hour earlier than I had in my calendar and was now over. Rather than be grateful for the moment to sit and enjoy the company of my teammates/co-workers, I was livid at all the time that I had lost to be able to fit more meetings into my day. My next meeting went according to plan – sort of. I will have to return again in the week (which I did not want to have to do) to get the forms that drove over there to get in the first place.  At 2:15 PM I was on the way to my 2:30 meeting when the 2:30 meeting got cancelled. And get this, I only learned about the cancellation because I sent the person a text message to say I was on the way. Are you kidding me? I could have fit in two more appointments had I been notified of the cancellation earlier. At the last minute, I tried to work in a meeting on the other side of town that I originally rescheduled to Friday because of the 2:30 meeting. Well, since I already rescheduled for Friday, the person that I’d hoped to meet with did not have the paperwork that I planned to meet with her for. At this point I decided that my day would end early. I could feel my bed in the distance – I could squeeze in a quick power nap before I had to pick up my active toddler from daycare. Who knows, I may even indulge myself with chocolate chip cookies and milk – It had been a trying day. I was able to shift an early Thursday morning meeting to my now open timeslot. I thought I would be there for fifteen minutes and then on my way home. An hour and forty-five minutes later I was ending my day at the same time I do every day only to fight traffic caused by an accident right near my intended exit. More delays…more delays…more delays. So, where is the Spoiled By God moment in all of this? The opportunity to rest in the jarring of my schedule. Although my goal was alleviate some of strain for tomorrow, each day has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:34b). Sometimes your schedule will mysteriously clear itself through cancelled and postponed meetings. Perhaps the best thing to do is accept those unplanned vacant spaces in time. Do the one thing you did not schedule into your day – rest in the moment.  Perhaps if I wasn’t so caught up on what planned and unplanned meetings were not taking place, I could have enjoyed the time with my teammates. I could have stolen a moment God, lowered my blood pressure, read my book. That could have been a moment for me if I recognized it. Instead, I spent it frustrated. Tomorrow has enough worries of it’s own.