PATIENCE REQUIRED - Patience P2

(photo by @_rachelcrowe)

What's Inside: There are three significant areas that require our patience on a daily basis: other people, the results, and us. The key is remembering first and foremost that all belong to God: other people, the results, and us.

Patience with people

I have a five-year-old daughter. She is strong-willed, strong-minded and very determined. Training her up in the way that she should go has been nothing short of overwhelming (especially for a drama-averse person such as myself). It has taken a while, but I am beginning to learn a thing or two about parenting this little woman – I have to tell her something many…many times before it starts to impact her behavior. She just does not get it the first time. Patience in raising my child is two fold. (1) It’s the willingness to keep repeating myself, keep reinforcing the behavior that I want, and be consistent as many times as it takes for as long as it takes. What’s even harder is trying to do this without losing my temper. (Holy Spirit intervention is imperative here). (2) Patience is understanding and accepting who she is and her age. It’s about perspective. This helps me to continue doing what it takes for as long as it takes in hopes of getting the results that I want to see. It also helps me to experiment with different approaches to raising and correcting until I find a style most impactful for her.

We develop patience with people by taking the time to understand the person and accept him or her as he or she is rather than who we expect them to be. Even when encountering someone for the first time. It makes a difference when you make it a point to stop and see a conflict from the other person’s point of view (Helpful to bear this in mind during the hustle and bustle of this busy life).

The hardest part when dealing with other people, is accepting that you may never see the results you desire even when you’ve given the person all the time you think he or she needs. Patience with people includes being okay with whom that person chooses to be even if you don’t agree.

Some tips to help being patient with people:

·      Don’t take things personally; at the end of the day we are all responsible for our own decisions and actions.

·      Choose not to take offense.

·      “In humility consider others better than yourself “(Philippians 2:3).

·      Seek first to understand rather than be understood. Better stated in James 1:19, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

Patience with the results

This is the area of patience in which I find myself getting stuck. So much so that it has taken me several months to face the truth and write it. Let’s be honest. It is difficult to work at something with all of your heart and then surrender the results. Yet, that is what we are forced to do day in and day out. Paul made it clear in 1 Corinthians 3:6 that we do not have control of the results. “I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow”.

Certainly we can study trends, make educated decisions, calculate risk, and implement proven strategies, but there is no absolute science to life. Some data contain outliers, there is such a thing as miracles and phenomena, sometimes things just work differently and we cannot always explain why. Haunting is the text written in Ecclesiastes 9:11, “I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but TIME and chance happen to them all.” (Emphasis mine)

We have to be willing to give the result the time it needs. Be willing to keep on keeping on – keep doing the activity that you know you are supposed to be doing. You may choose to build “safety nets” around your life to hedge against certain risk factors – to buy yourself time to continue in what you are doing. This can help prevent panic or living in uncertainty.

Patience is sticking it out with Jesus even when you have not yet seen the result that you desire. It’s having such confidence that the result is coming that you can move and live without it in the meantime. The testing of our faith produces perseverance/patience (James 1:3).  Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1). The lingering and seeming delay of what we are after tests our faith. Will you continue to do the good that you know you are supposed to be doing? Delays in the results test (1) whether or not we believe what we say that we do and (2) whether or not we believe the results will inevitably happen.

Some tips to help being patient with the results:

·      Trust the process and that it is a process – no shortcuts

·      Focus on the task at hand rather than the results or how you feel

·      Let your goal serve you as the reminder of why you are doing what you do

·      Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth. (Proverbs 10:4)

·      Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in forced labor. (Proverbs 12:24)

·      But the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. (Matthew 24:13)

·      Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)

·      For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger wait for it; it will certainly come and not delay (Habakkuk 2:3)

Patience with yourself

Lastly, we have to be patient with ourselves. There is much in this life over which we have control. There is a lot more over which we have no control. The Bible talks about the challenges that we face simply maintaining control over something as small as our tongue (see James 3:1-12). Paul wrote an entire soliloquy in Romans 7:14-25 about the struggle of the human condition as he strove towards attaining righteousness. It is because of our imperfections and lack of ability to correct them on our own that Jesus Christ had to die for us in the first place. So, what is the sense in wasting time condemning ourselves when Christ Himself does not condemn us (see Romans 8:1)? It’s sunk cost. The best thing that we can do for ourselves is to keep our heads up and keep moving forward. (Concept from my upcoming book, Still Going Pro).

Culprits of Impatience

Our impatience can be fueled by a number of things so we have to pay attention. Culprits may include: a sense of entitlement, lack of trust, misconceptions, selfishness, etc. Lets take a look at a few of these and how we might check them by the Holy Spirit who lives in us.

Sense of entitlement and unchecked expectations. For year I believes that I should receive anything I want and have the prefect life because I was a Christian, faithful and obeyed as best I knew how. (One of the challenges of accepting Christ as an impressionable young person). Though my life has been blessed, I would not have paved my own path in this way. But life is life and although God gives us the best way through, He does not give us a way out.

Lack of trust. Do you trust God? Do you need to trust yourself? Do you believe that God is faithful or do you view the Bible merely as a collection of stories?

Selfishness, misconceptions and lack of understanding. The truth is we want what we want when we want it and most of the time we don’t care who has to suffer for us to get it (as long as we don’t have to know about it). Somewhere along the line, some have been conditioned to think that things aught to happen more quickly than is accurate. Based on what you may have heard, you might believe that you could start a business and automatically be making money or you can put up a website and traffic will flow to it. That may happen in rare cases, but for the most part you have to spend an undetermined amount of time marketing, building trust and your brand no matter how phenomenal your product might be.

I think that is important that we take the time to get to know God. There are many examples of His MO that, if we pay attention, can comfort us in our waiting and doing. Not to say that God cannot do things quick, fast and in a hurry – in my experience He just doesn’t. Perhaps He chooses to respect the laws of nature that He himself with Wisdom put in place (Proverbs 3:19).

Some teachings foster impatience. I have sat in congregations where the pastor promised results in three days. And, I threw my little money on the alter to “seal the deal” and buy my blessings or deliverance. I’ve watched and waited for miracles from heaven to show up in three days. Three years later I was still waiting and three years after that I was doubting God. We have to be conscious of how we present and receive the word of God less we be lead astray and do the same to others.

Lack of being psychic. If I knew the answer to my prayer would come on October 14, 2017 then I would rest assure that I will see my blessing at that point. I would mark it on my calendar and then continue with my life until then. If only we all had the benefit of knowing the end from the beginning. But, even though we do not, we can still mark it on our calendar as coming and continue with life until then.

It makes sense that impatience is such an engrained part of the human experience. We are finite creatures. We recognize within us that our time here is limited. “The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more (Psalm 103: 15-16). But, impatience does not bring the results sooner and it can be attributed to the downfall of many. Psalm 103 starting at verse 14 and continuing now to verse 18 says this:

As a father has compassion on his children,

so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;

for he knows how we are formed,

he remembers that we are dust.

The life of mortals is like grass,

they flourish like a flower of the field;

the wind blows over it and it is gone,

and its place remembers it no more.

But from everlasting to everlasting

the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,

and his righteousness with their children’s children—

with those who keep his covenant

and remember to obey his precepts.

Thank God for His sympathy to our plight and for knowing what we need even before we ask (Matthew 6:8). We can rest assure that God has us and our desires covered. Thank God also for the gift of His Holy Spirit by whom we walk out this life. So we do not to have to gratify the selfish impatience of the flesh – but we can believe in Him and wait on Him bearing the Holy Spirit fruit of patience.

We are almost half way through the litmus test of our walk with God. Leave your thoughts and comments below - we love to hear from you.

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