LOVE, ANYONE? Part 1

What's Inside: Love. It is the greatest commandment and the greatest virtue. It is the foundation of the Christian faith. It is the message that will reach the people around us far sooner than our many words. But, how do we express it on a daily basis? How do we appropriately show love to a neighbor or a stranger? How do we show love to our enemies? I have a few guesses. And, I say we start with an easy one – 1 Corinthians 13. We know it as the wedding passage, but it’s application reaches much further than our intimate relationships.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is the character of Love that Paul paints for us. None of us have seen the face of God, but since God is Love, this portrayal of Love gives us a beautiful image of His attributes.  In the post, “The Proof is in the Pudding,” we started exploring possible evidence of our relationship with God. This evidence can be shown by way of the Galatians 5 fruit of the Holy Spirit who should be in us if we are Christians.

First up is Love. Part two of God’s greatest commandment to us is to love our neighbor as ourselves. We should, therefore, be able to look at the attributes of Love to learn how to fulfill that duty. Now get this: since God is Love, and 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 gives us the image of Love, if we too display these characteristics, whose image are we displaying? Isn’t that what we are after? Isn’t that what this is all about? (I’ll make several references to Dale Carnegie from his book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” because his insight is so relevant to this conversation).  So, let’s look at what we should aim to be so that we might be Love to others.

Be PATIENT:  One of the unfortunate realities of this life is that none of us are perfect. We face each day with our baggage and challenges and disappointments from days past. We ALL have something (many things). God is at work in each of us uniquely. We do not get to dictate where another person aught to be in life or behavior. We are all in need of compassion, empathy and a little sympathy. People want to be understood and accepted for who they are. The next time you are at odds with someone/anyone, take a moment to see the situation from the other person’s point of view. As Dale Carnegie says, you would respond the same way in the same situation if you were that person. When we love others enough to be patient with them, we move out of the way and allow God by His Holy Spirit to impact their hearts and lives. Remove all of your ideals and expectations of who others should be. Show your neighbors that you love them enough to embrace who they actually are. Bear with one another (Colossians 3:12 & Ephesians 4:2). Be patient with people.

Be KIND:  When was the last time that you were intentionally kind to someone? When was the last time that you were kind to someone even as they were being unkind to you?  In his book, Dale Carnegie emphasizes the importance of being kind to others even in conflict. If the business world understands the value of being kind in conflict, how much more should those who are called children of God be willing to be kind in all circumstance? Let love motivate you to say hello, be polite, smile a little even when you don’t feel like, give selflessly. Being kind is being nice from the heart. "Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back" (Luke 6: 30). And, even when they blow you and cut you off in traffic… be kind to people.

DO NOT ENVY:  I think it’s safe to say that many of us could use a little more of something – a little more money, love, recognition, time and success. I think it is also safe to say that many of us have much to be grateful for – the money that we do have, important relationships, good times and accomplishments thus far. But, how difficult is it to celebrate the wins of others? The Bible encourages us in Romans 12:15 to rejoice when others rejoice. The next time you are tempted to be jealous of the accomplishments of your neighbor, celebrate and be happy with him or her instead. That is a way that we express love. I can put my own longing aside long enough to celebrate you because I love you. Thankfully life is not a zero-sum game. You can still win even when others do. "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones" (Proverbs 14: 30). Celebrate with people.

DO NOT BOAST:  Side two of the same coin. In the same way that we should celebrate one another’s successes rather than envying them, we should also be mindful not to brag and show off our own success.  It can be tempting to toot our own horn and loudly. We live in a highly competitive capitalist culture and might feel less than, undervalued and under appreciated. We can therefore feel the need to spotlight ourselves to get the recognition we so rightfully deserve. There is a time for everything under the sun including breaking out the brag book to sell yourself for that opportunity or promotion (or if asked). But in our day-to-day living “in humility consider others better than yourself” (Philippians 2:3). As Dale Carnegie puts it, “Even our friends would much rather talk to us about their achievements than listen to us boast about ours.” The next time you feel the need to elevate yourself, find a way to elevate those around you. Love does not show off. "Let another praise you and not your own mouth; someone else and not your own lips" (Proverbs 27:2). Do not boast.

DO NOT BE PRIDEFUL:  We are not perfect. I know that is probably the most devastating thing that many of us have ever heard, but it’s true. We all make mistakes, everyone gets it wrong sometimes, and we all still have much to learn. One of the most courageous and humbling things that we can do is admit when we are wrong. It is also one of the most loving. When love is your aim, you do not have to win every argument and you do not always have to be right. Both Dale Carnegie and Dr. Tim Elmore (in his book Habitudes) agree that it is possible to lose more than you gain by wining in some circumstances.  You do not want to win at the expense of a relationship. Be willing to listen. Be willing and open to learning from others. Let others help. Love others enough to respect their point of view. Do not be proud.

There is still so much to come under The Litmus Test of our relationship with God - Nothing But Love. Let me know what you think. leave your thoughts and comments below; I’d love to hear from you.

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VERSES

1 Corinthians 13:4  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.